Controlling People (2002) Summary & Analysis
Controlling People (2002) by P. Evans
Controlling People Summary: Introduction
In today’s social media world, individuals have probably experienced the most drastic social and psychological shift. More specifically, there is an increasing number of influencers and ‘pretenders’ who seem to have marketing, behavioural, and motivational, or even demotivational power on others, which is an indicator of the age of “controlling people.” Accordingly, in this assignment, I have examined the book Controlling People (2002) by P. Evans. The paper includes insights into the ways the victims and their surroundings are affected and personal reflection towards the issue and the book. On the other hand, philosophically, when someone describes you, they claim to know the secrets of characteristics, even in most delicate fashions. However, one may readily infer that their words and even their acts have a consistency of imagination. And they still do not even realize the truth that you are pretending and that you are fooling yourself and others into believing that what you say is real or what you do is correct. When people "make up" their reality, even if they do not know it, as if they were you, they want to manipulate you (Evans, 2003). And after all, in this paper, it is evident that one must spot it and take necessary actions to avoid being controlled.
Controlling People Summary: Body Paragraphs
Control in Partnerships
In partnerships, power is a considerable challenge in terms of personal, technical, social, and friendship aspects if they dominate you, as Evans puts it, they 'make up' your reality. However, in the way you are, they do not respect you. That is, you want to change your face, make yourself new and look like your face. You want your reality to fit in, so you cannot encounter with the enlightening that your truth can be wrong. Management can always be so subtle, hidden from the hint of help, advice, a suggestion or a joke (Schwartz & Boulette, 2000). However, it is not a conscious or subconscious tentative of ripping up the sense and placing it in a brand new: the one it created.
If one understands and stands up to controllers, the Controller loses. He or she will not replace the one you created with your inner self. The challenge is that most people cannot understand those who influence them. Why does this happen? Because most controllers know their strategies well and are discreet. Over many years, they have improved their techniques and take your life if you do not expect it. And then the truth that you are gone, or hidden at least (Johnson & Ferrero, 2000). It may take some years after leaving a controller orbit to rediscover your true self.
Evans asks us to consider a controlling man: “I stood behind a well-dressed elderly couple waiting to buy corn on a farmer's market on the recent Saturday morning in a nearby city” (Evans, 2003). I heard the woman asking for two dozen corn ears when their turn arrived. They were sold for a dollar at three eyes. Two bills of $10 she handed. She was surprised that one of its 10-dollar bills was included when she had her chance. "Wow!" Wow! I didn't believe that I was going to get that much for twenty-four ears, "she said, laughing. "It is too early, supposes, to find it out in the morning" (Evans, 2003). Suddenly everybody was struck by the man with her and cried out angrily, "She can't even take the change into account! "The woman was silent, seemingly as shocked by his roaring statement as were the other people” (Evans, 2003). She appeared shocked, though. When Evan thought about what happened, it became clear that the husband were acting as if it was inevitable for his wife to change, and her actions and behavior were actually upsetting him a lot. However, as Evans stressed, it became obvious that the husband would somehow be restricted to finding out if it might not be true what distressed him (2003), which highlights the inconsistencies of the controller, according to his senses.
A grumbling husband is on the farmers' market Saturday morning. We might say, "Poor lady." However, most of us do not know that their husband was a little grumbling. Long ago, he replaced his wife's inner self with his creativity to not even quantify the transition (Doherty & Berglund, 2008). It is difficult for controllers to locate and to turn tables on you. As Evans highlights, "when a Controller hears a plea, like 'Please don't talk to me like that.' The Controller usually will say something like, 'I don't have to be attacked as that' or 'I don't know why I have to fight when it is all fine" (Evans, 2003).
In general, being exposed to constant controlling leads to unhappiness and a sense of restlessness. Controlling can happen in any kind of setting, including partnerships, social environment, team environment, and friend groups. However, the most important thing is to be aware of the situation. That is, as most people may infer, change starts with awareness, as Evans highlighted (2003). In my opinion, individuals should fight back against controlling with smart phrases and manners. There are many such individuals in society, and they prevent others from fulfilling their own characteristics, traits, and desires.
On the other hand, those ‘controllers’ can be drastically harmful to society. For instance, as many may agree, individuals who are often controlled can be controlled into harm. In other words, controller individuals can influence others to perform a bad deed or even a crime. Therefore, individuals should come up with their options and defence mechanism to resist excessive controlling or such behaviour in all social settings. After all, as a healthcare professional, I am delighted to see that there are many publications that are concentrated on such an issue. Although such a pattern of behaviour does not have a direct impact on health, it has drastic complications over the overall well being of our society.
Doherty, D., & Berglund, D. (2008). Psychological abuse: A discussion paper. National Clearinghouse on Family Violence.
Evans, P. (2003). Controlling people: How to recognize, understand, and deal with people who try to control you. Simon and Schuster.
Schwartz, A. H., Andersen, S. M., Strasser, T. J., & Boulette, T. R. (2000). Psychological maltreatment of partners. In Case studies in family violence. Springer, Boston, MA.
Johnson, M. P., & Ferraro, K. J. (2000). Research on domestic violence in the 1990s: Making distinctions. Journal of Marriage and Family.